Learning to Trust

In my Bible study this morning, I was reading Psalm 40. 

"I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me,

 And heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Our of the miry clay,

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps."

verses 1-2 (NKJV)

This spoke to me because I have felt like I have been in a pit for the past two years. Some who have been around me might think I have handled things pretty well, and I have tried to put on a good face. I have also tried everything in MY power to get out of the pit, but I am still in it.  I have taken on job after job to make up for what was taken away from us.  No matter what I have done, nothing has helped. I am tired, cranky, whiny, worn out and sick of it all.  That is why I was slapped in the face with this verse.  I have not been waiting patiently.  I have not even REALLY cried out to the Lord.  I mean, I have, but not really.  What does this verse teach me?  It is not about ME!!!  Isn't that what I tell my kids? I have to turn my selfish, self reliant person over and put my trust in God.  That means crying out to HIM when I want to cry into my pillow.  That means waiting for HIM to provide when I was to rush out and take care of things myself.  That means waiting on HIM and knowing He will take care of me on HIS time.  I don't know when that time is, but I know what will happen when it arrives - He will lift me up!  He will set me on the rock. He will continue to guide my steps.  It's not about me and what I do. It is about Him and the amazing powers He has to do what He sees fit for my life.  Until then, I wait, and I don't like waiting.  However, I will wait.  I will cry out.  I will remind myself COUNTLESS times that He has a grand plan for me according to His time and purpose. 

The Bible study ended with 2 Corinthians 2:14:

"Now thanks be to GOD who always leads us in triumph

in Christ, and through us diffuses

the fragrance of HIS knowledge in every place."

This is what I have to look forward to - God will LEAD me in triumph.  Just as the Roman general led his army in a victory procession.  God will lead me in a victory procession, and that's not all.  He is going to use ME - to diffuse HIM everywhere I go.  Again, when a Roman general would lead his army, they would carry vials filled with sweet smelling fragrances that would follow the general.  I will be stronger coming out of this.  I will be better coming out of this, and I will be used for HIS glory when I get out of that pit.  But until then . .

I will wait.