"I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Our of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps."
verses 1-2 (NKJV)
This spoke to me because I have felt like I have been in a pit for the past two years. Some who have been around me might think I have handled things pretty well, and I have tried to put on a good face. I have also tried everything in MY power to get out of the pit, but I am still in it. I have taken on job after job to make up for what was taken away from us. No matter what I have done, nothing has helped. I am tired, cranky, whiny, worn out and sick of it all. That is why I was slapped in the face with this verse. I have not been waiting patiently. I have not even REALLY cried out to the Lord. I mean, I have, but not really. What does this verse teach me? It is not about ME!!! Isn't that what I tell my kids? I have to turn my selfish, self reliant person over and put my trust in God. That means crying out to HIM when I want to cry into my pillow. That means waiting for HIM to provide when I was to rush out and take care of things myself. That means waiting on HIM and knowing He will take care of me on HIS time. I don't know when that time is, but I know what will happen when it arrives - He will lift me up! He will set me on the rock. He will continue to guide my steps. It's not about me and what I do. It is about Him and the amazing powers He has to do what He sees fit for my life. Until then, I wait, and I don't like waiting. However, I will wait. I will cry out. I will remind myself COUNTLESS times that He has a grand plan for me according to His time and purpose.
The Bible study ended with 2 Corinthians 2:14:
"Now thanks be to GOD who always leads us in triumph
in Christ, and through us diffuses
the fragrance of HIS knowledge in every place."
This is what I have to look forward to - God will LEAD me in triumph. Just as the Roman general led his army in a victory procession. God will lead me in a victory procession, and that's not all. He is going to use ME - to diffuse HIM everywhere I go. Again, when a Roman general would lead his army, they would carry vials filled with sweet smelling fragrances that would follow the general. I will be stronger coming out of this. I will be better coming out of this, and I will be used for HIS glory when I get out of that pit. But until then . .
I will wait.