Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Learning to Trust

In my Bible study this morning, I was reading Psalm 40. 

"I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
 And heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Our of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps."
verses 1-2 (NKJV)

This spoke to me because I have felt like I have been in a pit for the past two years. Some who have been around me might think I have handled things pretty well, and I have tried to put on a good face. have also tried everything in MY power to get out of the pit, but I am still in it.  I have taken on job after job to make up for what was taken away from us.  No matter what I have done, nothing has helped. I am tired, cranky, whiny, worn out and sick of it all.  That is why I was slapped in the face with this verse.  I have not been waiting patiently.  I have not even REALLY cried out to the Lord.  I mean, I have, but not really.  What does this verse teach me?  It is not about ME!!!  Isn't that what I tell my kids? I have to turn my selfish, self reliant person over and put my trust in God.  That means crying out to HIM when I want to cry into my pillow.  That means waiting for HIM to provide when I was to rush out and take care of things myself.  That means waiting on HIM and knowing He will take care of me on HIS time.  I don't know when that time is, but I know what will happen when it arrives - He will lift me up!  He will set me on the rock. He will continue to guide my steps.  It's not about me and what I do. It is about Him and the amazing powers He has to do what He sees fit for my life.  Until then, I wait, and I don't like waiting.  However, I will wait.  I will cry out.  I will remind myself COUNTLESS times that He has a grand plan for me according to His time and purpose. 

The Bible study ended with 2 Corinthians 2:14:

"Now thanks be to GOD who always leads us in triumph
in Christ, and through us diffuses
the fragrance of HIS knowledge in every place."

This is what I have to look forward to - God will LEAD me in triumph.  Just as the Roman general led his army in a victory procession.  God will lead me in a victory procession, and that's not all.  He is going to use ME - to diffuse HIM everywhere I go.  Again, when a Roman general would lead his army, they would carry vials filled with sweet smelling fragrances that would follow the general.  I will be stronger coming out of this.  I will be better coming out of this, and I will be used for HIS glory when I get out of that pit.  But until then . .

I will wait.


Kimberly Washer said...

I pray you will get out of your pit! Continue to be strong!

Kristen said...

So true, Becky. Sorry that things aren't all rosy right now, but I have a feeling that you'll enjoy the peace that you start receiving after this realization. Don't you love those epiphanies??

Arika said...

I love you. That is all. I just love you and are praying for you, dear friend. :)

Warren Baldwin said...

Linked from It's All About You. Noticed your F-HU connection right away. I graduated from there in 1980, my wife in '81, and our son in '08. My dad lives in Finger, TN. And, was good to see the photo of Mr. Whittle. Small world!

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